violue | (no subject)

people are so cruel, aren't tthey? it makes me feel so dumb to be one of them...i am though... I guess everyone is. we're all so wrapped up in our worlds...we dont see what else is happening. we don't want to see. too hard for us. well the blindness sucks. all of it sucks. i'm feeling extremely fucking drastic right now, and I'm not even in my own god damned house... so i cant even do anything. im so pissed that i'm not at home, and i am isntead reliving the most miserable fucking experiences of my life, word for word, letter for letter. Further proof that I'm insane I guess. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and acheiving the same result. That's me alright. well...forgive the insaneness of this entry... I'm having a bad.. day week whatever...and it's bloody 3am... and I'm not going to get enough sleep before school tomorrow because i havent been able to fall asleep... and boy am I emotional. guess it could be that im adjusting to whatever the fuck i started taking after the prozac... wellibutron i think... well...generic... i have no money for the real stuff :P... anyway...yeah. totally freaking out, and I actually found myself praying for DEATH. I'm fucking scared of dying, what the hell was I doing? That's when I decided it might be a good idea to vent a little to unsuspecting livejournalers...

...anyway I guess i should try the bed thing again... curled up in a little fucking ball on someone's couch, feeling....so unbelieveably retarded. ....