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violuehours of sleep: maybe 5... woke up far too early and spend 2 or 3 hours tossing and turning about as if on a spiggot
weight: 178-pre-eating. This is the first time I've gone below 180 in like a year or so. Even if I haven't eaten yet. I've been queasy for a long while though, so I'm a little weary of eating anything. However, I'm also weary of leaving the house and spending two hours in the sun in my PE class without the benefit of a meal first....
then again, usually the first day of a PE class ends early.
I had a bad thought last night, the sort of thought that you'd hear alot on TV, I guess. I felt guilty and wrong just thinking it, though. I haven't mastered the art of being angry and staying angry. It always turns to upset.
...I cried last night for a bit... like... with real sobs and everything, and I'm glad my TV was up unneccessarily loud otherwise someone would have heard... I really hate crying, although at least it doesn't sound the same way it did when I was younger. That uh... wailing noise children make. Yikes. I think I cry because I am naive, and struggle to be naive yet learn more about the people I know...and you can't have both. If I want to be naive, I can't pry, and if I'm going to figure things out, I can expect to burst into tears on occassion.
On a lighter note, and for some reason I found this amusing, my mom relaxed my hair last night...well touched it up anyway (I'm still petrified to do it on my own, don't want to go bald or something)... and she needed combs, and all I could find was a pick, and this comb that was missing a tooth. Anyhow, Immediately following that, I found 2 combs in my room, another comb when I woke up this morning, and a fourth comb was sitting right here by the keyboard. ...
....I didn't even know we had that many combs.
weight: 178-pre-eating. This is the first time I've gone below 180 in like a year or so. Even if I haven't eaten yet. I've been queasy for a long while though, so I'm a little weary of eating anything. However, I'm also weary of leaving the house and spending two hours in the sun in my PE class without the benefit of a meal first....
then again, usually the first day of a PE class ends early.
I had a bad thought last night, the sort of thought that you'd hear alot on TV, I guess. I felt guilty and wrong just thinking it, though. I haven't mastered the art of being angry and staying angry. It always turns to upset.
...I cried last night for a bit... like... with real sobs and everything, and I'm glad my TV was up unneccessarily loud otherwise someone would have heard... I really hate crying, although at least it doesn't sound the same way it did when I was younger. That uh... wailing noise children make. Yikes. I think I cry because I am naive, and struggle to be naive yet learn more about the people I know...and you can't have both. If I want to be naive, I can't pry, and if I'm going to figure things out, I can expect to burst into tears on occassion.
On a lighter note, and for some reason I found this amusing, my mom relaxed my hair last night...well touched it up anyway (I'm still petrified to do it on my own, don't want to go bald or something)... and she needed combs, and all I could find was a pick, and this comb that was missing a tooth. Anyhow, Immediately following that, I found 2 combs in my room, another comb when I woke up this morning, and a fourth comb was sitting right here by the keyboard. ...
....I didn't even know we had that many combs.
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Date: 2004-06-22 02:28 pm (UTC)