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Dec. 21st, 2004 04:25 pmI seem to be having some anxiety problems suddenly... last night and today... I keep feeling those awkward swells of nausea and palm-tingliness that I've come to realize are anxiety-symptoms. It's happening a little too often though, and is like freaking me out a tad. Haha... o_O; what a terrible circle that could create...anxious BECAUSE I'm anxious?
...i started making a dress last night... it uh... it's um... well it's not done... i made the top...well...right now it's sleeveless but that's because I've never made sleeves before... and the skirt-part is kind of okay... but... I want to make it shorter... but if I do that I get the feeling i would have to cut the skirt... which would render all my crappy-stitching more or less useless because it would ...well come loose without both ends tied. ...It's really too bad that I can't use a sewing machine. ...or patterns. Whenever I make a shirt I just sort of... trace the outline of one of my other shirts o_o;;...
also ive had all these pictures of my friends on my wall for a year or so now...and I like... took them all off... because I was tired of looking at them... The picture are all at least two years old..and the people in the photographs just aren't the same anymore. It's like they died or something. ...I burned one of the pictures...and watched the faces melt away... it was sort of surreal. ...o_O; i usually don't burn photos because of some weird superstition I've had... but nobody in the photo died after I burned it so I guess it's all good... it's a shame I burned it... it was rather incriminating... but looking at it made me sort of sick to my stomach and really angry and so on.
then I ripped most of the magazine pics off my wall...and my door...and accidentally ripped my Rei-Ayanami poster in the process x_x so I just threw it away... then I realized I had nothing to put up in the place of all the stuff I'd just trashed... and the whole bare wall thing was sort of creeping me out... so I took some graphic novels to kinkos and spent an hour copying random pictures... then came home and put them up...wallpaper style. It's not enough though... I'm going to need alot more. So I'll have to go back this week and make another 50 or so copies. maybe more... ooo... maybe I'll bring an art book and make color copies... bloody expensive though.
....uh... well I guess that's all I have to say.
...i started making a dress last night... it uh... it's um... well it's not done... i made the top...well...right now it's sleeveless but that's because I've never made sleeves before... and the skirt-part is kind of okay... but... I want to make it shorter... but if I do that I get the feeling i would have to cut the skirt... which would render all my crappy-stitching more or less useless because it would ...well come loose without both ends tied. ...It's really too bad that I can't use a sewing machine. ...or patterns. Whenever I make a shirt I just sort of... trace the outline of one of my other shirts o_o;;...
also ive had all these pictures of my friends on my wall for a year or so now...and I like... took them all off... because I was tired of looking at them... The picture are all at least two years old..and the people in the photographs just aren't the same anymore. It's like they died or something. ...I burned one of the pictures...and watched the faces melt away... it was sort of surreal. ...o_O; i usually don't burn photos because of some weird superstition I've had... but nobody in the photo died after I burned it so I guess it's all good... it's a shame I burned it... it was rather incriminating... but looking at it made me sort of sick to my stomach and really angry and so on.
then I ripped most of the magazine pics off my wall...and my door...and accidentally ripped my Rei-Ayanami poster in the process x_x so I just threw it away... then I realized I had nothing to put up in the place of all the stuff I'd just trashed... and the whole bare wall thing was sort of creeping me out... so I took some graphic novels to kinkos and spent an hour copying random pictures... then came home and put them up...wallpaper style. It's not enough though... I'm going to need alot more. So I'll have to go back this week and make another 50 or so copies. maybe more... ooo... maybe I'll bring an art book and make color copies... bloody expensive though.
....uh... well I guess that's all I have to say.
