(no subject)

I have another appointment tomorrow, and I have to tell the doc that there has been absolutely no change since she had me change my dosage. I'm so tired of no change. I'm tired of everything being the same, and gray, and tasteless. Fuck it. I'm going to start talking, and I don't care who I piss off. If there's no one left to be my friend when I'm done talking, then there's no one left. That's cool.

two hours later.

i have no fucking follow through. i finally start to tell someone how i feel, and they say they're mad and want to hurt themself. i can't be a part of making someone feel that way. i dont know what i was thinking i should have just shut the fuck up from the beginning. i am such a dumbass