(no subject)

:\ i was just thinking that I'm really tired of the life I made for myself...and I wish I knew a simple way to make a new one.

...i guess nothing worthwhile is easy though.

I'm too old to run away from home. at this age it would just be "moving."

i spent the weekend at zach's... and setting aside me getting upset last night, i had a good time... it actually meant alot to me...for some reason I thought if I felt that way about it, he might too. I'm wrong alot, as it turns out. I guess I should just be content that it was special to me, and not worry about the rest, but I can't. He just said some really mean things to me on ICQ. Not mean as in he was trying to be mean...but more mean in the sense that the words were thoughtlessly cruel and hurt me badly. I'm not going to bother telling him that of course. He'd probably just tell me it was my problem, and that I want to be sad, and so on. I guess he'd be right.

god, if I expended as much mental energy in studying as I do dwelling on petty shit and feeling sorry for myself, I bet I'd be a straight-A student.