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Sep. 28th, 2009 02:13 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
violueI did pretty well most of the day, but that feeling, that grief is starting to take hold. I'm trying to fight it off. I have the tv on and I'm reading a book, so that I might distract my thoughts as much as possible. I wish I felt more tired. I can't try to sleep until I'm actually tired, otherwise I'm doomed to spend an hour trying to fall asleep with nothing but my tortured thoughts to keep me company... and I need a break. I wish I could take a vacation from my thoughts. Or erase them altogether.
I check my e-mail constantly still, that there might be word from Justin, but of course there isn't. I look forward to the days when it becomes just an old habit waiting to be broken, but for now I'm stuck in the cycle of what I did wrong and how I wish I could change everything.
I am terrified of the future.
I check my e-mail constantly still, that there might be word from Justin, but of course there isn't. I look forward to the days when it becomes just an old habit waiting to be broken, but for now I'm stuck in the cycle of what I did wrong and how I wish I could change everything.
I am terrified of the future.
