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well I just got home from spending the last...12ish hours with "the group"
man too much steak. people need to stop giving me free food.
I kept having food taste like cigarettes the past two days...(luckily not my steak...that'd ruin it)...
...I haven't been smoking, and I haven't been around anyone who was smoking, so I'm at a loss.
I've been thinking alot tonight about people I know, and things about them, that I convinced myself I was okay with...but I'm just not okay with these things at all. Mostly I've been thinking about it in the past few hours... I tend to 'ponder' alot when I get tired...I'm more willing to mull over the things I don't want to think about...of course this is usually why i get upset at start crying before I go to bed...overshare...
I've barely been online in the past few days...although perhaps some of my chat buddies would say I've barely been online in the past few MONTHS...to them I say, I mean I've been on even less :p... but I haven't gotten any frantic "where the hell are you, i need to talk" e-mails, so I'm assuming all is well in the digi-world of my far-away friends...
...=[ uhh cept' for you, LordOfKarma-Auntie-nyne...but I can assume I'd be useless in making you feel better... **huggs**
I've been in a state of spiritual-atrophy for awhile now...er...and when I say things like that, it's always with the unspoken addition of "more so than usual", and I'm hoping my mind will stand up, shake the cobwebs out and bellow a defiant howl at the moon, screaming to the world to inspire me...but the second I feel a small hint of inspiration, I am reminded of all the things I loathe about the world, particularly, humans...SPECIFICALLY, those humans who for some reason spend their lives hurting others with words and weapons, KILLING others with words and weapons...and destroying themselves...this covers a broad range of things.
Sometimes I wish I lived in a time without computers or gunpowder...but if I lived that far back, I would not know the same people, I would not be me, and therefore I would not know what I should be appreciating about the inconvinient world without technology. ...but still, I think of my time, which is full of the mass-produced everything that I continue to embrace yet despise, and I feel disappointed by it's impurity, and I get worried that there's nothing left to find, not just for my life, but for the whole world...we all know more now...we're full of knowledge, but the price of that seems to be a planet full of people that are tired and unhappy and a terrifying percentage of them have to ingest all sorts of chemicals just to make the world seem more bearable. (i had this thought while "Justice" was driving me home, and he mentioned that he was going to down a bunch of energy drinks before work in a few hours...or maybe it was soda...either way it was for the purpose of becoming awake)
----
obviously I'm QUITE insane and scatterbrained at the moment...let's just leave it at the fact that I feel 'jaded'
~*doma
man too much steak. people need to stop giving me free food.
I kept having food taste like cigarettes the past two days...(luckily not my steak...that'd ruin it)...
...I haven't been smoking, and I haven't been around anyone who was smoking, so I'm at a loss.
I've been thinking alot tonight about people I know, and things about them, that I convinced myself I was okay with...but I'm just not okay with these things at all. Mostly I've been thinking about it in the past few hours... I tend to 'ponder' alot when I get tired...I'm more willing to mull over the things I don't want to think about...of course this is usually why i get upset at start crying before I go to bed...overshare...
I've barely been online in the past few days...although perhaps some of my chat buddies would say I've barely been online in the past few MONTHS...to them I say, I mean I've been on even less :p... but I haven't gotten any frantic "where the hell are you, i need to talk" e-mails, so I'm assuming all is well in the digi-world of my far-away friends...
...=[ uhh cept' for you, LordOfKarma-Auntie-nyne...but I can assume I'd be useless in making you feel better... **huggs**
I've been in a state of spiritual-atrophy for awhile now...er...and when I say things like that, it's always with the unspoken addition of "more so than usual", and I'm hoping my mind will stand up, shake the cobwebs out and bellow a defiant howl at the moon, screaming to the world to inspire me...but the second I feel a small hint of inspiration, I am reminded of all the things I loathe about the world, particularly, humans...SPECIFICALLY, those humans who for some reason spend their lives hurting others with words and weapons, KILLING others with words and weapons...and destroying themselves...this covers a broad range of things.
Sometimes I wish I lived in a time without computers or gunpowder...but if I lived that far back, I would not know the same people, I would not be me, and therefore I would not know what I should be appreciating about the inconvinient world without technology. ...but still, I think of my time, which is full of the mass-produced everything that I continue to embrace yet despise, and I feel disappointed by it's impurity, and I get worried that there's nothing left to find, not just for my life, but for the whole world...we all know more now...we're full of knowledge, but the price of that seems to be a planet full of people that are tired and unhappy and a terrifying percentage of them have to ingest all sorts of chemicals just to make the world seem more bearable. (i had this thought while "Justice" was driving me home, and he mentioned that he was going to down a bunch of energy drinks before work in a few hours...or maybe it was soda...either way it was for the purpose of becoming awake)
----
obviously I'm QUITE insane and scatterbrained at the moment...let's just leave it at the fact that I feel 'jaded'
~*doma
