Midget Porn

Aug. 1st, 2011 06:55 pm
violue: (Default)
[personal profile] violue
I haven't shared any of my conversations with people in a while. Probably because I don't have many... except for when I spend 10 hours IMing [livejournal.com profile] secretbutterfly ... anyhoo. This is a conversation with John, who is listed as my fiance on facebook. (I don't care how uncool it is to list friends as family, and my uncle [livejournal.com profile] cickiz , my mother [livejournal.com profile] theexecutioner , and my sisters [livejournal.com profile] emotional_chica and [livejournal.com profile] secretbutterfly know how cool I am)


John:
I have a funny story for you.
I was looking at funny pictures, and one was one of those demotivational pictures. It was of a well-endowed midget.
I was talking to my brother later, and I told him about it. I told him I was so disturbed by the picture, because if midgets have large dicks, that means they are real people.

Me:
D:
what did you think they were?

John:
Midgets.

Me:
did you think midgets were supernatural beings?
you're thinking of leprechauns

John:
No. I thought they were midgets.

Me:
yeah but
how did that mean they weren't real people??

John:
Because they are midgets.
I don't see why this is complicated.
Do you ever watch midget porn?

Me:
they're not average sized people...but they're still real
did you think they were lacking genitals?
no i stick to lesbian porn
oh and guy-guy-girl

John:
I know midgets are real.
No lesbian orgies?

Me:
Well I don't want too much going on...

John:
It reminds me the Saw movies. The flash cuts and scene changes are very rapid.

Me:
yeah i go for the o->->
hehehehe

John:
What does "o->->" mean?

Me:
the position in guy-guy-girl
actually i guess that's girl-guy-guy

John:
And they are pointing away from the girl? How odd.

Me:
no those are legs
oh wait it should be o>->->
....sortof...
CAN'T YOU SEE WHERE I'M GOING WITH THIS

John:
That doesn't make any sense.
>-o-< Makes more sense.
Or, >-oo-<

Me:
yeah but that's not what they're doing!

John:
What else could they be doing in a threesome?
>-oc-< One guy on either side.

Me:
>>>

John:
That's a traffic direction sign.

Me:
wow i just facepalmed
like for real
that was awesome
i love when that happens!

John:
I'm going to go get my supper. On an unrelated note, I might be getting sick.

Me:
alright are you familiar with the mechanics of male sex?
you can't go until we suss this out

John:
No. Why would I be familiar with male sex?

Me:
I meant familiar as in what occurs

John:
No.

Me:
what it is that men do

John: That's a pretty broad question, Drydraluxaloud(what I changed my FB name to).

Me:
I'M STARTING TO SUSPECT THAT YOU KNEW WHAT I MEANT ALL ALONG, ******** (he has a bird related last name).

John:
Fire Panda Murder Penguin, thank you.

Me:
This is what happens when a bird and a turtle try to mate.
you have no idea how tempted I am to make that my name

John:
It's my name. You can't have it until the marriage ceremony.

Me:
I'm still waiting for confirmation that you know what o>->-> means, otherwise I'm going to go have to find a video and take a screencap

John:
It's a rocket ship?
Or a chain or carbon molecules?

Me:
ok that was easy. example animation: http://bit.ly/7JJSz8

John:
I concede defeat.




I won the conversation.

Date: 2011-08-02 06:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] theexecutioner.livejournal.com
OH FUCK YOU
YOU -KNEW- THE GAY PORN WOULD DRAW ME IN.
GG.

Date: 2011-08-02 10:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] violue.livejournal.com
but there's no mention of gay porn outside of the cut. YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE.

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